The Emotional Drain of Language Learning

     Language learning is one of the hardest things I have ever attempted emotionally.  I say that because in this process of learning another language I'm finding that my emotions are in a constant state of turmoil.  In one moment, I am so excited over a recent "victory" or "success" in communicating with someone, or communicating correctly; then in another moment I am feeling so overwhelmed at my ignorance and lack of remembering "rules" and being corrected constantly.  It is a very emotionally "trying" thing to be corrected constantly when you're just talking (or trying to talk).  There is also a large element of humiliation that I feel as I am basically a "4 month old" with this language, but in an adult body ... & others keep asking me if I understand a conversation or discussion that is going on around me, to which I regularly have to reply, "No."  I understand bits and pieces, but not enough to feel confident that I KNOW what is being said, and what the basic gist of the conversation is in order to take part or to respond with my own conversational contribution.  It's especially humiliating to me when I am asked constantly -- in front of other people -- "Do you understand?" And people are waiting expectantly for my response -- which is most often "No" -- and then I feel like an idiot, and I feel like I'm disappointing them.  I really wish people would stop asking me publicaly if I understand conversations/discussions.  I feel like wearing a sign that says:  "Let me just tell you up front:  I DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT!!! STOP ASKING ME!!" At this point, I am mostly just attending meetings and group functions in order to LISTEN and to HEAR others speak -- to try and catch some words or phrases (and overall meanings if possible) -- but mostly just to LISTEN.  I personally am not expecting myself to understand a whole lot at this point, but to catch bits and pieces.  But when other people keep asking me if I understand what's being said, I find that a rather discouraging exchange rather than an encouraging one.  It makes me feel like staying away from groups and meetings, but that's an important thing to do in this process -- esp. in a very "relational culture."
     I realize others are just trying to help, and my host "dad" said that it's done partly b/c others feel uncomfortable when someone doesn't understand b/c they WANT them to understand; AND they ask sometimes so that others involved in the discussion (who may not know that we're language LEARNERS) will be "reminded" to speak more slowly and have more patience and grace with us as we are "beginners" with the language and do not understand a lot of what's being said.
     The emotional drain of language learning is just way harder than I expected.  I enjoy learning and I enjoy languages.  The learning part: the classes and instruction and even the homework are not the issue. It's really quite interesting and fun.  It's the "remembering" and "USING" the language correctly and effectively in communicating off the top of my head "in the moment" in conversation that is difficult.  And "hearing" is difficult too -- especially if there is no "context" in which to grab word meanings.  Spanish is spoken very rapidly and getting used to hearing it and hearing the separate words within a whole rapidly spoken phrase is still "new" and difficult for me.
     It's just a difficult endeavor.  Matthew 6 spoke to my heart this morning as I was thinking about how much Spanish we still need to learn and how we are SO NOT READY to communicate effectively in Spanish yet... "Don't be anxious!" "God knows that you need this." "Seek Him & His Kingdom 1st and foremost."
     It's going to be a long haul -- a lifelong endeavor... and I cannot let discouragement get me down.  It's hard b/c there is regular discouragement with this task, but ... there are also little victories.  I must focus there -- on the victories -- and not let others' questions or concerns get me down.  I am used to being successful at things I attempt (not to sound arrogant, but this is also a bit of commentary on the fact that I'm not a "Risk Taker."  I usually don't attempt things I don't feel like I could do well at or be somewhat successful at.) So this is one of the 1st things that I'm having to do that is just really, really tough and there's no getting out of it unless I turn my back on God's leading in our lives.  So it's a daily struggle and daily reminder of my "lack" and "falling short."  This struggle easily begins to affect my mood and attitude.  It's hard to remain upbeat and chipper when you are constantly corrected and constantly reminded of your ineptness with a "skill," but yet you're having to muddle through anyway. Sigh.  Lord help us!  Thank God I'm not having to learn Chinese or Korean!! At least Spanish uses letters that I'm already used to!!
     This truly is a "God-sized" task for us!  It is definitely something that others cannot understand or relate to unless they've been through it themselves. Wow.  I am SO THANKFUL that God understands ALL languages and that when we pray and cry out to Him, He hears and understands!

The Dead Man I Saw On My Walk This Morning

I have just had an extremely weird experience.  I was taking a walk this morning as I usually do. There are a couple of parks that I walk around here in our Peruvian neighborhood.  As I was walking down the sidewalk of one park, I saw a police van with some yellow caution tape marking off a section of the sidewalk on the opposite side of the street in front of a fish restaurant.  Upon a quick glance over there, I also saw what appeared to be a mom and a son (a youth) talking with the police.  My initial thought was ,"Oh no -- that boy has gotten himself into some trouble and he has maybe tried to rob that fish restaurant or vandalize it, or broken some windows or something..."  (There seems to be a lot of gang "tagging" on walls around the neighborhood.)

I kept walking and listening to some praise songs on my MP3 player.  I thought about going around the park a 2nd time, but I was weighing the pros and cons of such:  "Should I?  The police are there. Maybe I should just avoid this area for now.  I don't want to get mixed up in anything.  I don't know this culture and how the policemen feel about criminal situations and "onlookers" or nosy people wondering what's going on."  Although, as I was passing by the area and continuing on around the park, I was noticing several people stopping and looking and talking together.  So ... since I had noticed some other walkers going around the park I thought, "I'll just go around one more time and pay attention to myself and not appear "nosy" about whatever that situation is with the mom and the son and I should be fine."

As I headed back around near to the roped off section, I noticed more people looking and talking. I looked over and saw what appeared to be a bundle of stuff near to the front gate of the fish restaurant, I thought: "Oh no -- that boy WAS trying to rob the place and that's the stuff that he was trying to get away with."

BUT ... as I walked closer to the area, I looked over again and saw legs and feet sticking out of a covered up head and torso.  I kept walking.  Then it actually dawned on me -- that was a PERSON, NOT a bundle of "stuff!!"  Oh my goodness!! That was a man laying there covered up!! (I assumed it was a man from the appearance of the pants and shoes.) AND ... from the way they were covered, I believe they are DEAD!!

Then a flood of thoughts came into my mind -- as I was still walking and listening to my music.  Oh no!! This is a "dead person" situation -- NOT a young man trying to rob a fish restaurant.  The police are here -- I don't know how they feel about onlookers and gawkers.  Get away from here!!  BUT I also had the thoughts of how my appearance -- just walking by and listening to my music -- may appear to those others around:  I had on my Virginia Tech T-shirt on, so I figure I looked pretty "American."  Also -- I'm a Christian, and if anyone knows that Julio and Miriam house Christian missionaries -- I'm a representative of Christ here -- and I'm not appearing to look very compassionate or "feeling" in this scenario -- I'm just walking along, getting my exercise walk in for the day.  I didn't stop and talk to anyone -- because I am not confident in my current ability to converse in Spanish --  especially in this type of "atypical" moment!! I couldn't even think of how to say "What happened?" at the time!  Plus, I didn't want to appear to be a "gawker" and possibly frustrate the police and then get into some type of trouble.  But yet I felt so troubled in that I wasn't appearing to be "moved" at all.  I just kept walking.  However, at that point I was praying -- praying for the man's family and others around.  From my initial glance of the pants and shoes I wondered if he might be a homeless man. And I was wondering - will anyone miss this man?  Will anyone notice that he's gone?  Hmmm.... just a flood of thoughts and questions and concerns as I was in a foreign culture in an exremely "foreign situation" and not at all confident in being able to talk to anyone about what I had just seen or to give an appropriate expression of concern!!  Wow....

An uncanny thing about the situation too was that I was listening to a Point of Grace song called "Any Way" that talks about seeing God in unexpected places.  And the singer was singing about "unexpected places" right as I looked over and saw that the "bundle" was actually a person and not "stuff." That also caused me to think and question, "God how am I too see You here?  How am I to "be" You here (ie. Christ in me) in this moment?"  And as I kept walking -- wondering, questioning, thinking, praying I just felt so inept like I didn't know WHAT to do -- except pray.  Which IS indeed important, but, as a witness to others ... they can't see that you're praying ... they just see an American walking on by, appearing like this has not phased them in the least.  Sigh ....  I felt like I was possibly giving the USA a "bad reputation" too as they might see me and my reaction and think:  "Jeapers -- that lady's not phased in the least -- they probably see this kind of thing all the time in the USA for her not to be affected or to stop and look and talk!"

So I returned home and talked with Rick and another missionary friend in our house.  Then, I saw Miriam, our house hostess, and told her -- as best as I could with my limited Spanish.  She said that she would go over to the park and see what was going on.  I asked to go with her -- to possibly redeem myself in the situation, so that others would know that I DID care and that I DID notice that this is a person laying here -- dead.

Sure enough -- the body was still there -- now uncovered -- and the police and inspectors and examiners were dealing with him.  He was a younger man -- probably in his late 20's or early 30's and the assumption at the time was that he had a heart attack or fell and bumped his head and died at about 6:00 a.m. this morning.  (I had taken my walk at about 7:30 a.m.) He lived in a home 1 block over -- and was possibly taking a walk this a.m.  His brother was there talking with the inspectors, etc...  (Miriam gleaned this information from a young lady that was standing nearby.)  There were still quite a lot of people standing around looking and talking.  Apparently, the police do not mind people standing and looking on and in this Peruvian culture, it's okay.

I left to come on back to the house as Miriam stayed behind.  I was thankful -- one man that had been there from earlier in the morning -- whom I had walked around twice -- was still there and saw me return.  I felt like maybe my earlier, seemingly "uncaring" manner of walking on by might be redeemed in his eyes.  I don't know.  Even thinking in this way is awkward to me.  Like:  "Am I more concerned over my reputation than the fact that a man dropped dead this morning?"  It's all so weird. As a Christian, I'm a representative of Christ in the world -- we are to be salt and light -- showing His love and compassion to others. I wanted to -- but in that moment, I did not know how -- and then as a result, felt like a bad example of Christ and a negative reflection of Him to my world around me.  I thought, "In the USA would I have done anything differently?"  I believe I would have at least stopped and talked to others around and asked "What happened?" and maybe prayed with some of those around. In fact, I HAVE done that before.  But here -- in a foreign land, in a foreign culture, and in an "unknown tongue" I was just "stuck" with not knowing what to do. It's a very weird situation.  I am still left with some questions about it all.

But -- all the more reason to learn the language and continue practicing conversation in "neutral" sorts of moments -- so that in crisis moments, the words will be there.  And ... to be more mindful of my actions and how my behavior may appear to others.  I wish I would have at least stopped this morning -- to show some sort of concern, or respect, as when a funeral procession goes by and cars stop out of respect for the dead.  But again, as a foreigner, I wasn't too sure about stopping with the police presence there.  But others had stopped and looked, so I probably could have too. Sigh...

As Rick says -- "you'll learn from this experience (hopefully) and proceed differently next time." (Hopefully there won't be a "next time" of this type of scenario!)  But ... I know he's just talking about being "ready" as I Peter 3:15 speaks about -- AND being ready to be salt and light and to show Christ's love to the world around me.

I've SO MUCH to learn! Wow!

AND --- this was also a good, stark reminder for us all that one never knows when your time on earth will be done.  All the more reason to be SURE that you are "READY" to meet Jesus and that you have received His gift of eternal life.  I sure hope that man had trusted in Jesus.  I imagine when he woke up this morning, he had no clue that it would be his last.

All things NEW

Wow!  These past few weeks have been all about "newness."  EVERYTHING is new since we moved to Peru! -- new country, new language, new environment, new foods, new methods of transportation, new governmental systems, new friends, new type of phone, new daily routine, new "job," ....  It begins to get quite mind boggling (and at times maddening) when everything is new and different.  For awhile it's all very exciting -- so different and thrilling.  The adventure of it all fuels the daily excitement of life.  But ... after awhile, the excitement of the "newness" wears off and the newness begins to add stress to life.

I try to do some "normal" and "routine" things -- like take a daily morning walk, but even that requires "change" in that I was advised to mix-up the route in new and different ways in order to remain safe and not get into a "habit" in case others with mal-intent might be watching me.

HOWEVER -- one "normal" thing I can do every day is to read my Bible, and be with the Lord (who never changes -- hallelujah!), and to listen to praise songs that lift up His Name as I'm walking.
Hallelujah for a constant, faithful Lord -- and for praise music that sometimes "says" things to, and for, our heart and soul that words alone cannot say. And I can speak to Him in English and He hears me and understands me!!  (And He hears my sweet new friends in their heart languages too! He is such an awesome, Almighty God!! Hallelujah!!)

I hit a weensy bit of a wall this week when I was feeling tired of the newness. I didn't want to be "corrected" every time I tried to talk to someone; I didn't want to be jostled about in a crowded combi; I didn't want to have another cold shower; I didn't want to feel grit all over my jeans and clothes another day.... BUT, in our house devotion time I was reminded afresh of the attitude and actions of our Lord in Philippians 2 -- how he came to earth, leaving the glory of Heaven, and became a SERVANT -- taking on Himself human likeness -- and being obedient, even unto death. These inconveniences that I was struggling with were very "minor" in comparison with what our Lord did for me -- and for ALL of us.  And thankfully, even though I was battling feelings of frustration and irritation due to these new life circumstances, the Lord met me at my point of need and graciously changed my attitude and thinking and brought me to a place of contentment in my new surroundings once again. Thank You, Lord!

"New" can be great fun, and promote great excitement.  And "new" can also be quite stressful and promote challenging obstacles.

Thankfully, in the midst of it all, I wake up to new mercies each morning, and I get to walk another day in the newness of LIFE as I walk with the Lord and stay close to Him.

These are some of my thoughts as I deal with all things new ... here in Peru!

REJOICING & FULL OF HOPE

     My heart feels so full right now! These recent weeks have been such a blessing to me.  We are traveling to see family and friends before leaving for Peru -- in just 9 short days now.  (I can't believe it's really here! Wow!)  And I'm rejoicing in this wonderful time and opportunity.
     We have visited my parents in Florida.  That was a delightful visit.  Difficult at the end as tears were shed b/c of the distance that will soon be between us.  BUT, the reminder that God's "got this" and the fact that we can return home in a day if something comes up helps to quell the sorrow of the distance.
     Rick & I enjoyed a marriage retreat at a horse farm in Tennessee near Nashville.  Lovely setting: very relaxing and conducive to inner reflection and vulnerable sharing.  Met a dear brother and sister in Christ: Ralph & Joni Cook.  Such hospitable, and insightful folks.  And we experienced a very sacred and blessed time. (Thank You, Lord.)  I got to visit my alma mater, Belmont University again! Very neat!  (It's so BIG now!)
     Then we got to visit some friends from NY who now live in TN, and who have been faithful supporters of our Peru mission endeavor: Bill & Carol Quattrochiocci (sorry if I spelled it wrong!). What wonderful hosts!  They showed us several interesting sights in the area!  Neat time together! And they helped us celebrate Rick's birthday!
     Traveling on our way to Kentucky, I got to check off a "bucket list" item:  we visited and toured Mammoth Cave! That was not on our travel agenda, but we realized we were traveling right by it, and so we decided to stop!  It is absolutely appropriately named!!  Wow!  We were in only 2 of the 400+ miles of cave and it was gigantic!! An absolute wonder that is a "must see" for folks!  You WILL BE amazed!!
     Our next delight was getting to visit Lakewood Baptist Church in Louisville, KY -- a church that we helped to plant while we were in Seminary!  It was wonderful to see an established, thriving church worshiping and serving there now!  To be able to see and experience fruit from labor is truly a blessing and treasure.
     After being home for 2 days, packing more boxes, and giving away some furniture to our neighbors, we headed to New York to visit our oldest daughter and our sending church, Living Water Baptist Church for a "send off Sunday" tomorrow!  I was also able to visit my former work-mates at City Hall in Binghamton, NY.  It was great to see them again.  We also had some fellowship with our Dir. of Missions and his wife, our dear friends Ed & Lyn Hart, who have been with us from our very first ministry in Waverly, NY.  They were also our encouragers at the very start of our inklings of a call to Peru!
     A twist of events -- an added item to our travel agenda -- was to attend the funeral service today of our dear friend, Becky Hill's, mom.  Becky called us while were in KY last weekend to tell us that her mom had passed away unexpectedly.  On the same day, we got news that a former church member in Binghamton had also passed away a few days prior.  Both of these women were younger women. Thankfully, they both knew the Lord and are now at Home.  And our blessed hope from the Scripture is that their lives are not over -- just changed.  It was also a very stark reminder that one never knows what a day will bring.  We do not know how much more time we have on this earth. We've GOT to make the most of our days.
     I'm so thankful that we were able to attend Becky's mom's funeral today.  It was the most amazing funeral service that I have ever been to.  From the very beginning to the very end, the service was so full of rejoicing and praise to God for His glory and amazing love and grace that He has shown to us, and to Becky's mom, and through Becky's mom.  The place was PACKED!  It was nearly a 3 hour long service! It was wild to see Becky & her Dad smiling and clapping and praising God during the praise and worship time.  Wow! What HOPE!  It was such a great reminder that we, as believers in Christ, are indeed people of hope!  Thanks to the blessed promises that are ours in Scripture, we can rejoice in what is truly ETERNAL life!  Hallelujah!  Becky's mom sounds like a truly amazing woman!  I was inspired, and somewhat convicted, as I reflected on my own life: How am I loving others?  How is my life impacting others? Am I showing kindness and gentleness to others?  Is Christ's love flowing through me to others -- to strangers, friends, my own family?  Is my focus on God's glory, or seeking attention for myself?  Am I trusting completely in God's promises?  Do I believe in a big, able God in such a way that I adjust my life to reflect that?
     Lots of thoughts.  Lots of amazement as I watched this grieving family today rejoice in a God of great comfort.  Wow!  Such a moving time.
     Another weird thing: both of these women passed around their birthdays -- one on the day after her birthday (which was the same as Rick's), and the other was buried ON her birthday -- which happened to be on 9/11.  And, the day Becky's mom passed, was also the day that the 3rd child of some fellow missionaries was born!  Life goes on.  Life is so fragile, and yet ... it goes on.  It's just sobering at times to think of how we're 1 heartbeat away from our eternity outside the flesh.  And I have to say, I am sad for the recent passing of Joan Rivers and Robin Williams and Truett Cathy. Life is precious, and when it's ended on this earth, it is sad for those whose lives have been touched by that person and who remain on earth without them.  I don't know, but from all I've heard, I imagine Truett Cathy is now Home.  I don't know anything at all about Robin Williams' or Joan Rivers' hopes and beliefs.  I hope they're Home.  I know they made us laugh and we will miss their "unspoiled" humor. (I know -- sadly, some was incredibly raunchy and distasteful.  But some was just plain funny.) I'm just so sad that Robin felt hopeless, and that Joan seemed to want a Hollywood spectacle for her "funeral."  I think about the differences in these lives and recent funerals...
     Well -- enough about death.  I plan to focus on LIFE!  Thank You, Lord, for my eternal life that is found in You and sustained by You and Your grace, love, and power!  May more of our friends and family come to know You, and the HOPE that is found in You alone.  Praise You, Lord, for making our hearts FULL.  May many Peruvians come to know of this blessed HOPE that is found in You! Help us to live lives of LOVE and continue to rejoice with hearts that are FULL!
     And one more thing -- we ended this day with some more fellowship and good food and fun with our dear friends, the Roses, who have also been our dear friends from our very earliest of ministry days here in NY!  Again, I am just so thankful that I am part of the family of God! These good times of fellowship will continue on into eternity! Hallelujah!  We tasted a glimpse of glory today!  It's gonna be AWESOME!!

TIME

We're back home from a month of mission training before departing for Peru 5 weeks from today.  It was SO GOOD.  So full of good information that kept reminding me that I don't know what I don't know!  We discussed and learned about so many topics in the areas of Spiritual Vitality; World Views; Partnership Development; and Language Acquisition -- not to mention all of the cross-cultural aspects of each topic as well as daily living in another country.  (Such as the video presentation of the "very, very clean 1st class experience" of the Indian latrine!  Code for "pack some toilet paper!!")

Whew!  My mind is still trying to absorb and process things that were brought up.  Most importantly, that the most important element of ministry is one's own spiritual vitality.  I keep hearing about the "being" as much (or even more so) as the "doing" of ministry.  That "being" with God and resting in His presence and worshiping Him and being still before Him, is just as critical for ministerial effectiveness as the ministry work, the task at hand, that is to be done.

I hear people say that.  It sounds good and seems to make sense.  Is it really real?  Do I believe it? Just trying it is elusive to me, a perpetual "doer" let alone putting it into practice as a spiritual discipline.  I dare say it is quite elusive to many of us Western culture folks who are driven to accomplish the task and who pride ourselves on our busy-ness and ability to be efficient and organized and able to juggle umpteen balls in the air at one time without any of them falling to the ground!  Just being still is hard.  Try it.  Try to be still for 1 minute! -- without your mind racing -- without thinking that you need to set the meat out 1st and put one load into the washing machine so it can be washing while you're sitting down doing "nothing" for 1 minute!

Even when a leader states that a moment of silence will be observed in memory of someone or some event, they typically only recognize about 20 seconds of silence before that "moment" is up!!  We are a culture "on the move" and "on the go!"  Time is money and our time is precious.  And it really is in all honesty.

I was reminded of how precious time is as I spent time with my kids this weekend before they head off to their respective colleges and we will be apart from each other for quite some time.

BUT, since time is so precious, it does make sense to spend a good amount of time in, or with, important time occupiers: such as God, His Word, prayer, as well as people.  We're planning to take the time to visit distant family members and friends before we depart for the mission field and will not be able to physically hug them or kiss their cheeks for quite some time.  "Being" with God and "being" with people -- those are some of the best times on Earth.

Well .... until next time ... may we all learn to use our time wisely!  It is indeed very, very precious!

Expectations

Well for one thing ... I expected to be in bed before now!  We leave for our Intercultural Missionary Training tomorrow -- well, in 4 short minutes it'll be "today!"  I expect to be inspired, challenged, stretched, and better prepared for mission service there.  And I expect to meet some great new friends -- more brothers and sisters in Christ.
I expected to be way more emotional departing my job.  Thankfully my last day was a "different" sort of day at an all day training seminar with an uplifting, funny, inspirational speaker, Dale Henry, who encouraged us about servanthood and serving others.  Very apro po for this next chapter in our lives!  The main book we had to read for our upcoming training was all about Servanthood.  I expect to be very challenged as I try and live out servanthood especially in another country and culture.  Those who know me best know that I can tend towards being "the Queen" and enjoy BEING served!!  (But then again -- can't we all if we're living in our fleshly nature?! That's one reason we're so desperate for the Holy Spirit to infiltrate our lives.)
I did not expect my boss' boss to pray for me at lunch time on my last day of "work" work.  What a delightfully serendipitous occasion that was! I am sad that I have not had more opportunity to know him better.
I expect things at work to pile up on my poor supervisor and co-worker.  I'm bummed that I was not able to get more caught up with things before leaving.  They were so sweet and understanding about it though. That's kind of the nature of the beast at Social Services though.  If you read this and are a pray-er -- pray for them!
I expected to nail the "hard part" of my prelude this a.m.  I didn't.  Rat finks & bummer.
I expected a great time in worship today -- with the singing, playing and praising, and the Bible teaching and fellowship.  That was "spot on!" I so enjoy the fellowship we have together in the body of Christ!  Thank you, Gayton Baptist Church and Pastor Phil!!  I expect to miss you guys over these next few weeks!
I expected Germany to win the World Cup of Futbol today and they did!!  Woot woot!!  (I did not expect to see such rough playing -- nor so much blood - or for that matter, ANY blood!!  Mercy!)
I am learning to hold expectations loosely.  Notice I say 'learning.'  And at that, I often feel like I'm in the kindergarten class of this school of training!!
It's hard.  We all have expectations -- voiced or unvoiced.  Known or unknown. When things get switched up and go along another track, it's often hard to adjust and go down that different path.  I expect that's some of the kind of training that we'll be faced with in these next few weeks!!  Lord keep us open and yielded!
I expect I'd better put the clothes into the dryer now and go to bed.
It's now "today!"
I expect you all are ready for this blurb about expectations to be over!!  I am happy to fulfill those expectations!!  Good night!

Staving off panic

Well, this has been an eventful week.
Our airline tickets have been purchased.  One Way tickets!!  Wow.  That is different! Sort of sobering.
One way.
We depart Sept 22 for Peru.
As the reality of everything begins to "hit home" more and more my thoughts begin to get all jumbled together.
This week is my last week at work -- at the County of Henrico in the Dept of Social Services working in the Child Care Unit.  It's been a great job.  My co-workers are wonderful. I have so enjoyed this team of fine ladies!
I have felt panic arise as my time of trying to get "caught up" (so as not to leave behind a mess, or a huge burden for my fellow co-workers) is coming to a close.  In fact, tomorrow is my last day of actual work as we have a mandatory all day staff meeting on Friday.  We began a big new project recently for one part of our program that was mostly my responsibility and I've been trying to get that well underway even if everything else is not caught up -- which it is not . But, as my Supervisor reminded me today -- that is kind of the "nature of the beast!"  In our type of work, one doesn't really get caught up! It's like laundry!!
Earlier in the week, as I was realizing that I probably wouldn't be caught up by week's end, I began to feel anxious and I could feel myself getting more and more stressed about it.
Just as at work, I was also feeling a sense of needing to get everything "under control," and "planned for," and "thought of" and "taken care of" in our family before we leave for our training time, and before departing the country.
My boss reminded me that I was stressing over things some of which weren't going to happen until next year!!  (ie. next summer's plans for our kids when they are on summer break from college, etc..)
God is so perfect in His timing reminding us of truths in His Word -- this morning's devotional reading was from Philippians 4:6-7 about not being anxious for anything, but praying and thanking Him about everything, and the peace, which passes understanding, will guard our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.  What a perfect and timely reminder that I needed today!!  (Now if I could just put it into practice!!)
Tonight was also my last night of playing piano for the choir at Gayton Baptist Church for awhile!!  I have so enjoyed that opportunity at our church!
This time next week we will be about to begin our intercultural training classes.  Part of the intent, I understand, is to take one out of their "comfort zone."  Hmmm.... what is that going to look and feel like?! I'm trying not to "panic" about that too!  I enjoy new experiences and all, but I also enjoy my comfort!!
Well, I can see that I'm kind of rambling.  Apro po for my recent state of mind!!
But I thought I would give a bit of an update of my mental "goings on" as others may wonder how we're doing in that realm!
Thankfully, the "panic" has indeed been staved off -- for now!  And I believe I'll sleep in sweet peace tonight!  It's late, so ... Goodnight!